The n-Body Problem by Tony Burgess
October 22nd 2013
by ChiZine Publications
Bummer. Reading the blurb there is so much potential here that I feel Burgess wasted on a story that didn't make sense, a world that didn't make sense, characters you don't like, and a nonexistent plot. Let's look at the blurb shall we?:
"In the end, the zombie
apocalypse was nothing more than a waste disposal problem. Burn them in
giant ovens? Bad optics. Bury them in landfill sites? The first attempt
created acres of twitching, roiling mud. The acceptable answer is to
jettison the millions of immortal automatons into orbit. Room enough and
a view. Soon, earth's near space is a mesh of bodies interfering with
the sunlight, having an effect on our minds that we never saw coming.
Aggressive hypochondria, rampant depressive disorders, irresistible
suicidal thoughts. Life on earth slowly became not worth living. Heaven
had moved in too close. We all knew where we were going and it was just
up there, just far enough to never, ever leave."
You can tell by the summary here there is potential. But instead, Burgess creates a story filled with shock value and gimmick (including a chapter that's "encoded" for no apparent reason). A maniac "Seller" running around with an obsession with attaching people to other people's genitalia (and about 3 pages of description of what body parts he's attaching to another's testicles) and having sex with all of his creations (as long as they aren't alive).
So we get 200 pages of mutilations, sexual deviancy, necrophilia, mass suicide, murder...
I am just not young enough anymore to care about trying to seem this damn edgy.