Sunday, March 9, 2014

The n-Body Problem by Tony Burgess

The n-Body Problem by Tony Burgess
[
Published October 22nd 2013 by ChiZine Publications ] 
★★

Bummer. Reading the blurb there is so much potential here that I feel Burgess wasted on a story that didn't make sense, a world that didn't make sense, characters you don't like, and a nonexistent plot. Let's look at the blurb shall we?:

"In the end, the zombie apocalypse was nothing more than a waste disposal problem. Burn them in giant ovens? Bad optics. Bury them in landfill sites? The first attempt created acres of twitching, roiling mud. The acceptable answer is to jettison the millions of immortal automatons into orbit. Room enough and a view. Soon, earth's near space is a mesh of bodies interfering with the sunlight, having an effect on our minds that we never saw coming. Aggressive hypochondria, rampant depressive disorders, irresistible suicidal thoughts. Life on earth slowly became not worth living. Heaven had moved in too close. We all knew where we were going and it was just up there, just far enough to never, ever leave." 

You can tell by the summary here there is potential. But instead, Burgess creates a story filled with shock value and gimmick (including a chapter that's "encoded" for no apparent reason). A maniac "Seller" running around with an obsession with attaching people to other people's genitalia (and about 3 pages of description of what body parts he's attaching to another's testicles) and having sex with all of his creations (as long as they aren't alive). 

So we get 200 pages of mutilations, sexual deviancy, necrophilia, mass suicide, murder...

I am just not young enough anymore to care about trying to seem this damn edgy.  

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